Black Friday

You know, I would seriously have to be paid at least triple digits to be enticed to go shopping on Black Friday. I went out one time and it will never happen again. There is a reason why people are killed by being stampeded to death or having large shelves fall on them. Not only are the crowds uncontrollable, but the attitudes are nasty and greedy. I don't have 1,000 of my closest friends I want to shop with the day after Thanksgiving. I hate shopping in optimal conditions (i.e. I am in the store alone, everything I want is at my fingertips and my parking space is right outside the door), much less with a billion people being hateful, grabby and ready to throw you in front of a passing motorist if you dare look at the item they are after.

Men & Doctors

What exactly is it with men and doctors?
I used to think it was just my husband who found it impossible to leave the doctor's office with any semblance of important information. I have now found it is apparently ALL men and ALL doctors.
When my children were little, I used to hate having my husband take them to the doctor. His day off was during the week, so you would think that would be the best time to schedule well-baby check-ups, etc. NO! It drove me crazy to have him come home with no information at all. How much does Junior weigh? I don't know. How tall is Junior? I don't know. Does Junior have medicine to take? Yes. What is it? I don't know. What is it for? I don't know.
I then turn to my three year old. Are you on medicine? Yes. What kind? The pink kind. What for? An ear infection.
I mean seriously! How sad is it that I can get more info from a three year old than a grown man? What did he do? Send him back to the room alone? If he went back there with him, what was he doing?
Now, I know it is apparently all men and all doctors. Recently my boss took the office cat to the vet. As he was sitting on Cat forcing a pill down his throat I asked what he was giving Cat. I don't know. What's wrong with Cat? I don't know.
You would think if anyone had a fear of doctors, it would be women. I mean, men may have to have their dangly parts cupped and told to turn their heads and cough, but women have to have their breasts put on a plate and smashed to a 1/4 inch thick. Plus, I have a doctor who likes to do spontaneous paps. Me: Hi doctor. My shoulder hurts. Dr: Oh, let me just do a quick pap and see what the problem is.
Personally, I had never thought to look at a shoulder through the vagina. Dumb me.