Sports stupid

The childhood trauma came rushing back!
I'll explain. Yesterday, while sitting at my mother's with my daughter and two of her friends, I tossed my phone over to my daughter to show her a picture message I had just received. When we finished oohing and aahing over the picture, she tossed the phone back to me. (Here is where the trauma comes in!)
I'll just say it, I am probably the most unathletic person on the face of the Earth. I mean maybe if it was a sport that didn't involve catching, throwing, running, kicking or hitting something, maybe I would have been good at it. Plus, as a little kid with glasses, my face was apparently a magnet for balls. I think I can honestly say I have been hit in the face with just about every ball known to man except for a bowling ball or a croquet ball (which probably would have killed me if I had been hit with them, thus ending my tragic tale). Yes, I have been hit with a softball, baseball, basketball, soccer ball, red rubber ball, volleyball (which I played and have been told that the spectators felt sorry for me because I was so horrible--"Serve the ball over the net this time, Christine!!!") and yes, even a golf ball (don't ask).
Anyway, I attempted to catch the phone with a motion that can only be described as some kind of spastic twitch. Needless to say, I did not actually catch it. I was SO happy to know this mini convulsion was witnessed by others. Friend says, "That was a horrible catch!" (She pretended I had actually caught the thing because it had at least landed in my lap.)
All the trauma of picking teams in grade school came rushing back. Remember the days when the teacher would assign two people to be captains (usually the most athletic) and told those captains to choose their teams? Now, I realize someone has to be picked last, but every single time? That's just wrong. I was so far down the list of people to pick, EVERYONE got picked before me. "I want Beulah, the paraplegic, you have to take Christine" or "I want Emily with the iron lung, you have to take Christine." What may be even worse than being chosen after someone with a prosthetic leg is being bartered off because you suck so much, the opposing team thinks the handicap of having you on the team somehow makes up for the athletic prowess of someone else. For example, "You have Dawn (a really good athlete), so you have to take Christine." Apparently this is supposed to help shift the balance of power from the team being unstoppable (because of Dawn), and being a guaranteed loser (because of me).
I've got to tell you, when the hierarchy of life is determined by recess (as it is in grade school), your self-esteem sort of plummets when the kid on life support is chosen for the team before you.
The really sad part is that even if the kid on life support is chosen as the captain, even THEY won't choose you for the team because they want their team to win.
Oh well, at least I didn't have to run to catch the phone.