Okay, it was time to go have my teeth cleaned again. Not a big deal really...unless you have to have a panoramic view x-ray (cue ominous music here). It was one of those good news bad news scenarios. First the bad news. You need to have these panoramic views taken about every five or six years (okay, really that's part of the good news). These views show the bone structure, all dental work you've had done (which show up as glaringly white spots on these x-rays) and the position of all your teeth. (These are the ones used by a forensic odontologist to compare with anonymous remains to identify your cold dead corpse when it is found alongside the road in a state of decomposition. Good times.)
Anyway, I digress. First, they take away your glasses, which in my case means I need a seeing eye dog, a white cane or someone leading me. Since neither of the first two options were available, the hygienist led me to a device in which I was to put my head and bite down on this little...thing. A vice is attached to my head, then a light with crosshairs is shone on my face. "Hmmm...that little cross is supposed to be on your nose. Let me try to move your head a little."
After trying unsuccessfully to move my nose off my cheek (where it apparently is), the hygienist tries raising and/or lowering the device. "Maybe you're shorter than I thought." Now, I am feeling like a midget with a face something like a Picasso painting.
After trying desperately to rearrange my facial features to meet the specifications of the machine's settings, she calls for help. Luckily, a little reconstructive surgery fixed the problem and they were finally able to take a panoramic view of my teeth.
So what's the good news you may ask? I was told I took a beautiful picture. Now I know the secret to my taking a good photograph is for me to have no flesh of any kind in the picture. Just goes to prove that beauty comes from within!
By the way, they better have to use those pictures to identify my remains!!
(Actually, I really have to add that I actually like going to the dentist. They get my sense of humor and laugh at my jokes. What's not to love?)
3 comments:
I'm pretty sure my dentist would like my sense of humor too, but there is always at least 2 pairs of hands in my mouth. It is hard to talk with my mouth full!
My dental hygenist always wants to have a conversation while she is wrist deep in my mouth.
I like the new look but I would really like to read something new!!!
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