Crashed Computer

Okay, my computer recently crashed, so I have been unable to blog in comfort. I could go into the Buzzard's man cave to blog and use his laptop, but honestly, I'm just not comfortable there.
There are certain aspects of the man cave that are kind of sweet. He is a DJ part time, so he has a really good sound system in the man cave. He also has a recliner, a flat screen TV and of course a computer. His TV is hooked up to his sound system, so he has surround sound with great big speakers. (This means if there is an earthquake in TV, you can actually feel the earth shake beneath you. Of course that also applies to gun shots, car races, animals growling or any other loud noises on TV. I have had to remove all pictures from the wall adjoining the man cave to the house, because the walls actually shake from the vibration caused by the volume.
The part that is somewhat disconcerting is a) the space is shared with a go kart and b) the smell is not too great. The other hobby my husband has besides DJing is go karting. His go kart is parked in the cave too. According to Buzzard, the smell in the cave is "wonderful." "It smells like tires," he says. Apparently his idea of a wonderful smell and mine are not the same. I like the smell of things like apple cinnamon, potpourri, heated oil, perfume, body spray, etc. He likes the smell of gasoline, tires, dirt, BO, things like that. (Okay, probably even the Buzzard doesn't like the smell of BO. I may have exagerrated just a tad.)
Anyway, if I wait too long between blogs, you can definitely blame it on the Buzzard. He has neglected to hook up a different computer for me, so I have to use his laptop when he's not in the Man Cave.
Stay tuned!

Redneck Baby Shower

My sister was recently invited to what can only be called a Redneck Baby Shower. Why? You know it's a redneck baby shower when the invitation ends with BYOB. Seriously??
I can imagine what is on the gift registry: cooler for baby and bigger one for beer; insulated cooler to keep baby in during the winter; a beer fanny pack so I can carry my beer and my baby at the same time; a nipple for my beer bottle so if the baby gets fussy...; a straw for my beer in case I am using my hands for something baby related. Other good gifts may include a leash, so you don't accidentally put the baby down and forget where it is, baby overalls so you can hang baby on your arm like a purse and of course the always useful pet carrier. Another gift may be a beer can mobile for above baby's crib and a neon Coors light to turn on at night.

Unrelated Observation: Note to Cows: You should know that if you are being taken to a meat locker, even if you manage to escape captivity, even if you run really fast, even if you outwit your captors, chances are, you can't outrun a bullet. The people chasing you do not have your welfare in mind. They never really had in mind for you to live that long anyway. They are not going to be careful not to hurt you. All they are thinking is, "It's burger time!"
And it's probably no use hiding. There is probably not a tree big enough.

A Few Additions

Okay, it has come to my attention there are even more drive-thru "What the @#$%?"
Apparently, it has become common to WALK through a drive-thru. This is apparently for those people too lazy to open a door to the building. I could maybe understand this if A) You are so drunk you can't drive and are so smashed your brain really isn't functioning at full capacity or B) It is so late the lobby part is locked and the only part open is the drive-thru. These excuses are only good at drive-thru restaurants. There is NO EXCUSE for walking up to the bank drive-thru window or a pharmacy drive-thru window. That's just frakkin' LAZY!
Also, do think walking up to a drive-thru window at 2 a.m. is the safest thing to do? I mean, everyone is just leaving the bars where they have been drinking for the past 4-6 hours and they now have the drunken munchies. Do you want to be on foot in front of them? Now if excuse A is the one in use here, you may get lucky and not get run over by a car. (Unless it's me behind you, because I may just aim to run your IGNORANT ass over.) If you are using excuse B, I strongly suggest wearing reflective clothing, perhaps investing in a bullhorn or perhaps cowbell and adding lights to your wardrobe.
Another observation: People believe if they are in their cars they are alone. And apparently invisible. Here's the truth--while you may indeed be alone in your car, you are surrounded by WINDOWS! That means clear glass that you can see through and others can see through, too! That means if you are sitting in line at a drive-thru (Where by the way, everyone is at a complete stop and generally looking around) you should not have your finger so far up your nose you look like you are scratching the back of your eyeball. This is also not the place to change your clothes, adjust your boobs, floss your teeth or pop a zit.
I guess what I am basically saying is, "GO HOME!!!"

Just A Few "What the @#$%"

Okay. We have all had times where we just say, "What the @#%$?" One such moment for me was this weekend. I went shopping with a couple of sisters and when we finished the torturous task of trying on all assortment of clothes, we decided to treat ourselves to an ice cream cone. We decided to go to Sonic and take advantage of their $1 cones and sundaes. Nothing particularly odd there. So we go to the drive-in restaurant and find what? A drive-thru!! My first thought of course was "What the #$%@? Next it was how lazy do you have to be to be use a drive-through at a driv-in? So now, not only do I have to stay in my car, but I can not even put my arm out the window. What really took the cake though, was the fact that there was no drive-thru window. A girl still came out to your car to hand you your order and take your money. I mean, seriously? What is the point of a drive-thru window at a drive-in?
While I'm on the subject of drive thrus, does anyone else get disturbed by the braille on the drive-up ATMs? Why are you driving if you're blind and need braille instructions? How do you find the ATM? What about braille signs telling where the bathrooms are? How do you find the signs? I really don't know.
Then we get back to my sister's only to find her dog is suicidal and running in front of my car. When I refused to hit her and kill her, she stayed IN FRONT OF MY CAR! "What the @#$%! I think the dog seriously needs therapy or Prozac or something. Maybe the dog whisperer can come and talk to her. Can't you hear the conversation now? "They never let me sit at the table. They never let me sleep under the covers. They stuff pills down my throat on a daily basis. It's like I'm a stepchild or something!"
I have no answers for any of these things. I guess I'll just chalk them up to another mystery of the universe.