My sister was recently invited to what can only be called a Redneck Baby Shower. Why? You know it's a redneck baby shower when the invitation ends with BYOB. Seriously??I can imagine what is on the gift registry: cooler for baby and bigger one for beer; insulated cooler to keep baby in during the winter; a beer fanny pack so I can carry my beer and my baby at the same time; a nipple for my beer bottle so if the baby gets fussy...; a straw for my beer in case I am using my hands for something baby related. Other good gifts may include a leash, so you don't accidentally put the baby down and forget where it is, baby overalls so you can hang baby on your arm like a purse and of course the always useful pet carrier. Another gift may be a beer can mobile for above baby's crib and a neon Coors light to turn on at night.
Unrelated Observation: Note to Cows: You should know that if you are being taken to a meat locker, even if you manage to escape captivity, even if you run really fast, even if you outwit your captors, chances are, you can't outrun a bullet. The people chasing you do not have your welfare in mind. They never really had in mind for you to live that long anyway. They are not going to be careful not to hurt you. All they are thinking is, "It's burger time!"
And it's probably no use hiding. There is probably not a tree big enough.
2 comments:
I guess after not drinking for 9 months the new mother has to make up for lost time. That's wrong in so many ways!
It was kind of a fun baby shower. no games, no chatting about pregnancy, just plain ol' eat, drink and be merry!!!
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