Foot Fetish

This weekend I was invited to get a pedicure with my mom and daughter. Sounds like a fun outing, right?? Well, it was a fun time. For me anyway. I can't really say the same for the poor guy who was administering my pedicure.
Before I even went to get my pedicure, I had to mow my legs. (Again with the judging??) In my defense, my legs rarely see the light of day. (Believe me, there's a reason for that. I do not have legs anyone wants to see. My legs look the hood of a white vehicle that has been pelted with hail! I know, tan fat looks better than white fat, but like a vampire, I burst into flame when coming into direct sunlight.)
Anyway, back to my pedicure story. I have to admit here that besides the fact that my feet look Fred Flintstone's (short square toes on short square feet), I generally abhor shoes and taken them off about March and don't put them back on until around November. Needless to say, they aren't exactly the softest feet on Earth. (Ok, my kids call them moccasins.) Anyway, I'm soaking my feet in the tub and he does the thing with the toe nails (clipping, buffing, cuticle trimming, etc.) He looks at my heels and looks at me with a pained expression. He said, "You want cut off?" I'm thinking, ouch! Not particularly. (Besides, I need those callouses to walk on later, right?)
He gets out his electric sander and some kind of toxic cleanser and proceeds to scrub the heck out of my heels. After like 20 minutes, he falls back exhausted. Next comes the application of pretty polish to ugly toes. (I know they're ugly, but they are still attached to my legs, so you do what you can, right?) He polishes them beautifully and has me sit in front of this teeny, tiny little fan blowing on my toes, which puts out about as much air as a snore. I sit there for a while and it seemed like long enough for the polish to dry. WRONG! I put on my sandals and immediately messed up my polish. The guy came back over and redid my polish. (God bless him!!) Before I left, he insisted I wear some flip-flops he provided, so I didn't mess up my toes any further. (The flip-flops resemble hospital shoes for thsoe who are not really interested in hygiene. Anyway, I did finally leave and my toes are lovely.
I heard that guy retired right after I left.