Victoria's Secret (PG-13)

This the Victoria's Secret semi-annual sale. Now some of you , shall we say, "perkier" ladies may not care about such things, but for some of us whom gravity has attacked with a vengeance, we need to know the Secret.
How do you know when it's time to be let in on the Secret? Here are a few clues: 1) When you walk past and flash your breasts at your husband by lifting the bottom of your skirt. 2) When you start to worry you are going to zip your bosoms up in your jeans. 3) When you lie on your back and have to put your arms over your head because your ta tas are flanking you. 4)When you dry off from the shower and as you bend over to dry your legs, your knockers resemble tube socks with croquet balls in them.
Ok, those are a just a few of the clues you get.
You "perkier" ladies, also known as young women, small breasted women or "enhanced" women, can go to Walmart or Target and just pick up a sports bra. Me? Not so lucky.
I recently purchased a couple of less expensive bras to wear on weekends or on Big Panty days (or let's face it, those days when you just want to be comfortable). After I got them home, I decided to wear one of my new purchases. Now, I had tried them on at the store to make sure they fit, but I had NOT tried them on with clothes. Anyway, I put one on and was wearing it to work on one of my 16-hour days for comfort's sake. I looked down and noticed that it appeared I had two cannons facing opposite directions preparing to shoot! Now, I firmly believe that having larger breasts when you are 60 pounds overweight is kind of like God's compensation to you. "Well, you have cottage cheese thighs, a huge flat butt and a gut which sticks out further than your backside, but look, you have cleavage now!"
However, without Victoria's Secret to lift those sisters up and put them where they belong, it is of no use whatsoever. So I guess my point is I will be at Victoria's Secret sometime this weekend making my half-price (but still expensive) purchase because the girls are worth it. I will bear with the stiff underwire, live with the "push-up" feature which makes 'em look better and deal with the biting that occurs after about eight hours. Hey, a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do.