Obsession

Recently, my obsession has been to lose some of the tonnage I have put on since taking a job where the only muscle I actually work is my brain (and if there is another human being in the room, sans boss, my jaw). Sadly, my butt remains firmly planted in my oh-so-comfy chair.
To that end, I have recently been visited with a nutritionist who gave me tips on how to change eating habits rather than dieting. Luckily for me, it involves eating virtually all day long, so there is no hunger or deprivation involved.
One aspect of changing eating habits is to be aware of the habits you have now. That means writing down every piece of food and every drop of drink that passes your lips. That doesn't sound too hard, right? Well, it's not. That's the easy part. Believe me, it gets harder.
After you write down what you ate, for example something simple like a sandwich and chips, then you have to dissect it into parts, i.e. 2 slices white sandwich bread, 1 piece bologna, 1 slice American cheese, 1 Tbsp. mayo, etc. After dissection (or science), then comes research. Finding out how many calories are in each part of your food or drink. After doing your "research" you find out that piddly little sandwich, which wasn't even that good and which didn't fill you up, is like 300 calories by itself. The chips you ate (about a handful), which were kind of stale and looked like they had been stepped on, are 500 calories because you learn chips are approximately 150 calories per serving, but a "serving" is only four chips. Who eats four chips? I mean Lays spent millions of dollars telling people that no one can eat just one. And no one can eat just four.
Okay, so now that you've done your math homework, you are left with a story problem. "If you are trying to keep your caloric intake to 1200 calories and you have already eaten 800 with a crappy sandwich and chips, what the hell are you going to eat for the rest of the day?"
Answer: Veggies! Lots and lots and lots of veggies. But not those dastardly canned veggies (can you say mass amounts of sodium?). No, they must be fresh veggies.
Okay, that doesn't sound so bad, but with fresh veggies come a four letter word. WORK. I mean, no one just opens the refrigerator, takes out a cucumber and just starts gnawing on it. (However, the temptation has been there.) No, you must first prepare the vegetable for consumption.
First, you get out the cutting board. If it's a cuke, you will probably need a peeler of some kind and a nice sharp knife. Now, none of this is any big deal if you think ahead and make these preparations before you are actually ready to eat them. However, if you wait until you are really hungry, that is another situation all together.
Since you are starving and your blood sugar has dropped to single digits (yet you somehow manage to remain conscious) your hands are shaking uncontrollably, drool is pouring from your mouth--you're getting the picture, right.
Next thing you know, you're in the emergency room, someone has your fingers in a baggie waiting for the doc to sew them back on. You glance over at the baggie and unbidden, the thought comes to you, "I wonder how many calories are in those?"